Friends of the Devil
by jwoo2525
Summary: Feeling unloved and abandoned, Jackie decides to call up reinforcements to Point Place, WI in the form of her cousins Blair Waldorf and Georgina Waldorf. Rated T for probably some cursing may be rated M later but not too sure about that.
1. The Devil Calls for Backup

A/N: This is my first fanfic and I'm new to this site (can anyone tell me how you name the chapters in the document manager?). This is an AU/crossover story set in 1980 Point Place, Wisconsin and UES. Everything that has currently happened on Gossip Girl (including the disgusting Jenny travesty) has happened in my story except it's set in the 70s/80s and everything that happened on T7S happened in my story (including the disgusting Sam travesty) . Blair, Jackie, and Georgina are all cousins (I know some of you hate Georgie, but I actually think her character is like a major source of entertainment and I like her so whatever). Pam's maiden name is Waldorf. So, Harold Waldorf (Blair's father), Pamela Waldorf-Burkhart (Jackie's mother), and George Waldorf (Georgina's father) are all sisters and brothers making Georgie, Blair and Jackie first cousins.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of Gossip Girl or That 70s Show (If I did their relationships wouldn't have ended so horribly and both Hyde and Chuck would be with me!). I'm only using them for my fanfiction story for which I gain no profit.

May 15 1980, Jacqueline "Jackie" Burkhart lie awake in bed in the apartment she shared with her once friend, Fez. They had been close until Jackie made the mistake of running to him on a rebound. It had been all of two days before she came to her senses and broke things off with Fez. He was so upset with her that he didn't speak to her for a week during which time she faced relentless "burns" from Stephen Hyde, the man who still held her heart, referring to her as a whore in some of his most creative ways. Jackie still considered Fez her friend, but like most of her friendships these days, their relationship could be described as strained at its best.

It was while thinking of these burns and the abandonment of all her basement friends that Jackie got a renewed vigor to change something in her life. Living in Point Place Wisconsin was becoming suffocating. It was like an experiment run by some unseen mad scientist on the amount of torture one person could take before going either homicidal or suicidal. At this point Jackie didn't know which one she was: she could kill either Sam, Stephen, or herself without a second's thought. _Hmm. Maybe I should make it a double homicide and then a suicide. That should make the headlines._

As Jackie's morbid fantasies ran through her mind she realized she needed to escape and she needed an ally, badly. Currently, she had neither in Point Place, Wisconsin. As she lie on her back, she stared at her ceiling and concentrated on all the bumps and grooves of the white wall. "I wonder what my cousin Blair is doing?" she whispered aloud to her unicorn Fluffycakes. She had been too ashamed to call Blair when her father, Jack Burkhart, went to prison and angry at Blair's mother, Evelyn, for refusing to allow Jackie to live with them in New York. Evelyn had written Jackie a letter not long after her father's imprisonment saying "While your father's situation is unfortunate, the Waldorf name really cannot handle anymore scandal in New York. Perhaps it would be better for us all if you remained in Wisconsin where things could remain quiet." Blair had always been like a sister to Jackie. They were alike in so many ways. Both small, beautiful, rich, bitchy brunettes with distant parents. She supposed it was the Waldorf woman legacy because her cousin Georgina didn't fair much better. Jackie might have been a Burkhart in name but she was a Waldorf in circumstance, that much was for certain. With nothing left going for her in Point Place and no friends to think of she decided to call her cousin and former confidant.

Blair Waldorf was staring in her vanity wondering when her life got turned so upside down. A few years ago she had everything she'd ever wanted: a loving boyfriend, a doting father, a beautiful best friend and a handsome partner in crime. Somewhere along the way that boyfriend and best friend betrayed her and that partner in crime, Chuck Bass, became the love of her life...and then tried to sell her for a hotel. While she had forgiven her friend and former boyfriend, and even made mistakes of her own, the wounds Chuck had caused were fresh and deep and she needed an escape. She was in the middle of contemplating her failure of a life when her phone rang.

"Miss Blair! Phone for you! It your cousin Miss Jacqueline!" Dorota called out in a thickly Russian accented voice as Blair rushed to the phone.

"Jackie! Oh my god is that you?"

"Yes B! It's THE one and only!" Jackie answered in the most perky voice she could muster, considering her mood.

"J!" Blair yelled into the phone causing Jackie to hold the receiver away from her ear. "Where have you been? I haven't heard from you in almost two years? Do you know what it's been like having only Serena the giant sunshiny goddess as my only shopping companion? Do you? Do you?…." there was silence on the other end as Jackie had been moved the phone away from her face mid-rant.

"Jackie? You there?"

"Blair, I'm so sorry for not calling you sooner. You have no idea the drama that has been going on in my life."

"Oh, Jackie, honey you have nooooo idea about drama until you've heard what's happened in my life." Blair replied.

"Well tell me, Blair, what's been going on with you?" Jackie replied, for once, wanting to hear someone else's problems if only to get her mind off her own.

...Two hours pass as each girl recounts the past two years their lives...

"Blair, wait a minute. So let me get this straight. Uncle Harold is gay? Serena slept with Nate? Your mom is well, still a bitch. You started dating Chuck after he spent a year refusing to tell you he loved you, sleeping with hookers, insulting you, spreading gossip about you, and then he traded you to his pervy uncle for a hotel?" Jackie yelled into the telephone receiver.

"Well when you put it that way….." Blair said dryly, "ugh, yes that's about it. And you, my dear, fell in love with a poor person, eww." Blair said as she scrunched her nose up in disgust. "I swear between Serena and her love for all things Brooklyn and you, I just don't know what to do with you people. And then this loser leaves you for a stripper! God, he's like a dirty, poor and, no doubt less handsome, Chuck!"

"God Blair, I'm just so depressed, he's always burning me and…"

"Burning you! Oh my God he's abusive? See! This is why we stay _away _from the lower class Jackie!"

"It's Wisconsin slang for insulting someone, Blair, keep up! So anyway he's always burning me and I have no friends anymore! None! My supposed best friend, Donna, totally abandoned me and became that whore's newest best buddy. I just want to crawl in a hole somewhere and die!"

"Ugh! God, Jackie have you learned nothing from me? First, what happened to your cheerleading minions?"

"Ummm, I kinda got kicked off the squad when I started dating Steven"

"See? This is why poor people are bad!"

"Blair!"

"Ok, ok. We can fix this. So, no minions. And no best friend because she's a stripper obsessed skank. We'll just have to rally the troops." A moment of silence passed by as Blair tried to come up with a plan and Jackie wondered what was going on in her cousin's demented brain. "Ok, I've got it!" Blair exclaimed as a devious smirk lit up her face.

"Got what? A way for me to get Steven back?" Jackie asked in a voice tinged with both hope and fear.

"Oh honey, this is about more than that. So, your life is falling apart? Rebuild it! You're a Waldorf remember? People don't tell you who you are, you tell them. Stay and Fight. I'll fight with you." _I need to thank Serena for that speech, it was awesome! _ "We are Waldorf women and no one is better than a Waldorf woman. Not some raccoon eyed underage skank and not some rabid pea-brained pole professional."

"Blair I've really missed you" Jackie said as she giggled into the phone over her cousin's antics.

"And I have missed you, which is why I'm coming to visit you in Point Place."

"What! You, Blair Waldorf, want to come to Point Place? Why? What's this plan of yours?" Jackie was shocked, in all her years of begging, Blair had never agreed to visit her in Wisconsin. In fact, the last time she'd asked Blair replied that the mid-west was where unwed teenage mother's went to hide their pregnancies and she wouldn't be caught dead in a state that prided itself on cheese.

"Revenge honey, it's the only plan that's practically approved by God himself."

"God? Blair, where have you been going to church?"

"Jackie, God is all about revenge. If you cut revenge out of the Bible, there's not even enough pages to make a pamphlet! So, here's what I need you to do. Get your butt out of that pervert foreigner's apartment and back in the mansion in luxury where you belong!" Blair yelled into the phone. "I'll talk to my father about getting to your trust fund early, there's no way a Waldorf should be poor and, worse yet, working" Again Blair looked disgusted. "I'll call you back with details and I'm bringing Serena, Georgie, and Dorota with me. We'll need them."

"Georgina! She's not in the Ostroff Center anymore?"

"Nah she got out about a month ago. Uncle George will probably be happy to get her out of New York before she slips back into her old ways. Always remember Jackie, we're family and we're here for you, especially when revenge is involved." Blair sighed as she looked around her room, mentally noting which belongings she would be bringing along.

The girls talked for a few more minutes to discuss details of Blair's arrival the coming week and Jackie's move back into the mansion. After another silent pause….

"Jackie?"

"Yeah?"

"This basement gang of yours won't know what hit them." And with that both girls hung up the phone. Jackie lie back on her bed in Point Place, Wisconsin with a renewed hope and excitement she hadn't felt in a long while, as Blair paced her Upper East Side penthouse room smiling as plans of sabotage ran through her mind.

TBC

A/N Although I've written short stories for class and for my own enjoyment, this is my first fanfiction. Let me know what you think. If you like it, I might continue for your praise. If you don't, I still might continue just to spite you LOL. Also, I'm looking for a beta if anyone's interested!


	2. The Devil Takes a Holiday

Disclaimer - Don't own anything, not even the computer I'm typing on. Seriously, it's my boyfriend's how sad.

A/N : So, this is why I need a Beta. After reading over the first chapter I realized I had written Blair's mother's name as Evelyn instead of Eleanor. Well, since I've apparently renamed her that's how she's gonna stay for the duration of this story. She won't be mentioned much, if at all, again, so it's not that big a deal. Also, Dorota is apparently Polish, I don't know where I got that she was Russian. I think she mentioned having relatives in the Russian mafia on one ep. and I must've gotten confused. Again, not that big a deal. In case anyone is confused, in my story Sam is still around….but not for long. Finally, sorry it took so long to update. You can blame that on a certain cable/internet provider that shall not be named. But, you know who you are! Please Review!

_Thursday May 22, 1980. _When Blair told her cousin she was coming to Point Place to help her, it was only partially a lie. She honestly did want to help Jackie. In fact, she knew it was going to take major restraint to prevent herself from slapping this Steven or Hyde, or whatever he was called, senseless, just at the very sight of him. But, it wasn't just the sisterly need to protect her cousin that was driving her to Point Place. If Blair was honest with herself, and she found that she needed to be, as she watched strings of cotton-like clouds whirr by her airplane window, she knew she was also going to Point Place to escape her problems…escape Chuck. Every where she went in New York was a memory of their relationship. All of New York was Chuck. The Empire Hotel, The Palace, the Empire State Building, Victrola. It was unbearable. She knew no one would look for her in Point Place. _He _wouldn't look for her there. She could practically reinvent herself and only Serena, Georgie, and Jackie would know the "real" Blair. The more Blair thought about why she really wanted to go to Point Place, the more her mind wandered to Sam's motivations.

_Why would a stripper leave Las Vegas for Point Place?_

"That's what I want to know" Georgina said as she turned to Blair with furrowed brows as if she herself had been deep in thought.

Blair hadn't realized that last thought had been aloud, but it was good to know that she and Georgina were on the same page. She looked around the cabin and noticed Serena and Dorota were both asleep, which was fine. She was actually relieved Dorota would only be there a week and then return to New York to her husband and baby. Blair thought she might scream if Dorota reminded her one more time about what activities "God is always watching" for. She was certain that if God really did watch that much his retinas were surely now burned from the sight of Chuck and Jenny getting it on. Blair didn't much care that Serena was asleep either, because the girl was honestly useless in plotting. Sometimes Blair missed the old Serena who had been almost as useful in plotting as Chuck. But, then she'd remember the late nights she spent cleaning up vomit and ensuring neither Serena nor Georgina were date raped and, once again, be thankful for this new and improved Serena. She was, however, for once, very thankful that Lily had married Bart Bass because she wasn't sure she could properly plot on a commercial flight. The thought alone disgusted her.

"Well why did _you _agree to come here?" Blair turned her attention back to Georgina who was now flipping pages in May's issue of French Vogue.

Georgina looked up. "Honestly, one, I don't like people hurting my family and you, Jackie, and Serena are pretty much all I've got…"

Blair knew this much about Georgina. Of all their parents, she was inclined to believe Georgina's were the worst. It was discovered that Georgina had a genius IQ at age 3 and because of her advanced intelligence, her parents' expectations far exceeded that of even the most ambitious Upper East Side parents. They pushed her to complete High School by age 11, accounting for all her free time with extracurricular activities. The only times she was allowed to experience what any average child would consider fun was when she spent time with her cousins, which was rare. While Blair loathed the idea of visiting Jackie in Wisconsin, Georgina had frequently begged for it and was always refused. By 14, Georgina had earned her Bachelor's degree in Criminal Psychology at Columbia and her 14 year old mind had snapped. She could no longer take her parents' pressure and constant prodding. It was at this age Georgina snorted her first line of cocaine from a piece of broken glass in a bathroom at Carter Baizen's 18th birthday party and from then on it was a haze of razors, bloody noses, white powders, and needles. The term "wild child" would have been a compliment if used on Georgina. The prestigious schools and résumé-building extracurriculars were replaced with a string of mental institutions and drug rehabilitation centers. Blair ventured that if Georgina were not her cousin and she hadn't seen the few times the girl could be truly caring and selfless as opposed to self-destructive and downright cruel, she'd think she were a sociopath.

"and two," Georgina broke Blair from her reverie "I needed to get away from New York. I mean…I'm serious this time" she turned to look her cousin in the eye, wanting to convey her sincerity "it's not like that time I was sent to Jesus camp" they both smiled "I just needed to get away from it all, you know?"

"Yeah… I guess we're all running from something" and as they both came to the same realization their smiles grew "I wonder what Sam's running from?" Blair directed the question at no one in particular, but for the rest of the flight they both ran a number of scenarios through their minds, finally deciding that Serena would be using her Bass contacts once again. They'd need Chuck's PI to get some information on the stripper.

* * *

_9AM - Friday, May 23, 1980. _Jackie was just rolling over in her bed when she heard Dorota's heavy footsteps walking across her bedroom floor. Before she had time to sit up and register what was happening, her room filled with blinding sunlight as Dorota pulled her curtains back. She squinted up at the motherly woman who was now placing a tray by her bed.

"Good morning, Miss Jacqueline. Breakfast for you" she said, motioning toward the tray with croissants, oatmeal, berries and various other breakfast foods.

"Thank You, Dorota" Jackie answered with a soft smile on her face. It had been a while since someone had made breakfast for her. She hadn't seen her mother in almost a year so that meant no hired help was around to cook and since she hadn't been coming to the basement, she hadn't seen Mrs. Forman either. It was Mrs. Forman's cooking she missed the most, not because it tasted any better than the food the professional staff had prepared for her, but because she knew Mrs. Forman's meals had been prepared with love. Just the thought of running into Steven, however, had been enough to keep her away.

Today would be different though. She had gone to the Forman's yesterday to tell the gang that she and her cousins would be making regular appearances in the basement. Though her news got a cold reaction from her friends, Mrs. Forman practically demanded that they come to dinner that Friday. So, it was on this Friday morning that Jackie found herself sitting in bed enjoying a home cooked breakfast and smiling as she thought about how the first step in her cousin's plan would go into effect today. Today they'd get rid of the whore.

As she popped a strawberry into her mouth she heard a loud knock at her door. "Get up, get your ass in a bikini, and meet us by the pool!" Georgina yelled like a drill sergeant. Jackie wasn't sure if she should be more encouraged or afraid, but either way, she found herself rushing around her room changing into her bikini and grabbing tanning lotion.

* * *

As Jackie stepped out of the sliding glass door and lay down on a banana lounge next to Serena, she smiled as she thought about the last 24 hours and how these girls had brought back a since of camaraderie and sisterhood she'd thought she lost when Donna betrayed her.

_Flashback - Yesterday/Thursday Evening_

Jackie reclined on her living room sofa, pleased with herself. That morning she had accomplished the task her cousins required of her: getting Steven's and Randy's work schedules. It had been surprisingly easy. She just had to talk with Kitty. Jackie was positive Kitty knew more people's secrets than the CIA and, if given a little wine, she'd become a valuable asset to their summer plans. As she contemplated why Blair would even want their schedules, she was interrupted by the echo of the doorbell through her empty home. As she reached to open the door she was engulfed by a sea of brunette and blonde hair and skinny limbs followed by one strong pair of Russian arms.

"Oh Miss Jackie! It been too long!" Dorota called out. "I wish I could be here all summer with girls, but Vanya and baby miss me" Dorota said.

"Well I'm happy to have you for however long you stay!" Jackie exclaimed with a beaming smile that was, for the first time in a long time, sincere. After, she showed each girl to her guest room and Dorota to her room, she went to the living room where she waited in her flannel pajamas with snacks, beer and movies. Thanks to Blair, she had an extensive collection of Audrey Hepburn movies and for the night she had chosen _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, _Roman Holiday_, and _Paris When It Sizzles._

"Yay, girls night!" Serena giggled out as she bounced down the stairs in pink boy shorts and a tank top with a bottle of tequila.

Following close behind was Blair in a short black satin night gown with a sheer white robe "Yep, some good old fashioned girl bonding!" said Blair as she carried a bottle of Dom Perignon.

Immediately behind her was Georgina wearing black satin pajama pants with a black tank top "Well, I'm all for the girl bonding, but I'm more excited about the plotting! Let's get this party started!" yelled Georgina as she came down the stairs holding a gallon bag of what looked like greenish-brown bricks.

As the girls all gathered on the couch around Jackie she noticed the bag "Georgie, what the hell is that?" Jackie asked, concern clearly evident in her voice. After all, she'd heard the rumors of Georgina's wild lifestyle that landed her in the Ostroff Center for drug rehab.

"Calm down Jackie, it's just a little hash. I know you Midwesterners wouldn't know good shit if it was rolled in a cheese log, so I brought this with me. So, Blair tells me you guys like to form some kind of circle or whatever when you smoke?"

"I've only done it a couple of times, but yeah we form a circle when we smoke, it's pretty fun actually." Jackie reached over to grab the bag of hash and inspected it.

"Well" Serena spoke, "we were thinking this Donna girl didn't give you the sleepover you deserved, so that's what we're gonna do now!" she bounced in her seat with a smile so infectious all three girls found themselves giggling.

"Ok, so first we…smoke…" Blair wrinkled her nose. She wasn't too sure about smoking hash herself. She knew Serena had smoked it before and Chuck and Nate practically swore by it. But, considering Nate's less than average intelligence, Chuck and Serena's poor judgment, and Georgina's own fondness for hard drugs, she was slightly concerned. "and then we go through the steps of 'Opération Vengeance Sous-Sol'" Blair held up a pink notebook with the words written on it.

"Vengeance Sous-Sol?" Jackie questioned.

"Operation Basement Revenge" Georgina was looking down focusing on the joints she was rolling in her lap on top of the Vogue magazine "Yeah, they were _supposed _to be mourning their love lives in Paris this summer not America's Dairyland…"

"But, you so _obviously _needed our help" said Blair as she eyed her cousin's flannel pajamas.

In apparent irritation at being interrupted , Georgina finished "_So, _I suggested we do our plotting in French to make up for the loss."

"Besides we missed you!" added Serena in her usual perky manner, getting up to hug Jackie and then sitting Indian style on the floor. The other girls followed, arranging themselves in a circle.

….5 minutes later in the circle…

"Wow, Georgie this is gooood shiiiit" Jackie drawled out with a large goofy grin on her face.

"Told ya" was Georgina's smug reply.

"Step one is double identité" Blair giggled in exaggerated French.

"I want an Éclair" Serena said "éclair, éclair, éclair" she repeated in a terrible French accent. "You know who reminds me of an éclair? Nate, because he's sweet outside _and _inside " she squeezed her hands together, shrugged her shoulders, and smiled, tilting her head to the side "Dan, he…he's a…um…a Napoleon!" she shouted, clearly delighted at finding another comparison. "They're both so delicious, how do I choose?" she pouted.

"S, Humphrey is a doughnut" Blair replied, disgusted that her friend was comparing Dan to anything Blair would actually eat.

"I concur, sweet, cheap, and bad for your health. He was certainly bad for mine." Georgina added.

"Eww, Georgie, we promised, no talk of any past relationships with _any _of our men." Serena added with a whine. Not wanting to be reminded that Georgina had slept with most of the Upper East Side, including Dan, Nate, _and _Chuck.

"I love you Georgie, but stay _away_ from my Steven!" Jackie warned with a glare.

"Ok, Step one is double identité." Blair tried again, but was cut off again by Serena.

"Yummy" looking dreamily "a croissant would be really good too. Kwa-son, kwaaaa-son, kwa-son" again, with her terrible French accent. "You know, Nate's like a croissant too. Flaky" she pouted.

"Golden and delicious too" Georgina licked her lips.

"Eww Georgie stop it!" Serena whined again. "So, Nate's a croissant, and Dan's… he's a…a…baguette" Serena smiled sweetly.

"Wrong again…canned biscuit." Blair added.

"I know Steven loves me, I just don't know why he stayed with that whore! He _knows_ I didn't sleep with Michael! And she's just nasty! And skanky! And gross! Grosser than Gross Edna!" Jackie was in full rant mode.

"Yep, definitely a canned biscuit. He pops under the smallest amount of pressure." said Georgina.

"Seriously" Blair tried to state in a calm manner but it came out as a giggle "Step one is double identité…" Again, Serena cut in.

"Ok, I got it!" she yelled. All eyes turn to Serena "Nate is Crème Brûlée!"

"Yeah, hard on the outside and soft, smooth, and creamy on the inside" Georgina licked her lips again.

"Eww, ewww, ewww, Georgie stop it!" Serena yelled, although the hash made her laugh through most of it.

"Anyway" she was smiling again "Dan's a cream puff." Serena smiled, lifting her chin up, clearly pleased with herself. Blair snickered.

"He sure is S. He sure is." the other girls joined in laughing. "Alright, seriously…" Blair leaned in closer and the other girls mimicked her action "tonight I reveal to you all the plan. Over the course of the summer we will revisit the words of this plans. You will all be assigned tasks and remember in order for this to work everyone must do her job. Step one is double identité, to get it started we have to call Randy at Grooves tomorrow. Got it?" she looked around the circle.

"Got it" said Georgina.

"Got it" said Serena.

Jackie appeared to be considering Blair's question as the girls stared at her "My Steven would be an onion cuz he's got layers….."

Blair rolled her eyes, sighing simultaneously, and got up to put the first movie in the VCR as Georgina lit up the second joint. It was going to be a long night.

_End Flashback_

_

* * *

_

_3pm Friday, May 23, 1980. _All the girls were again sitting on the floor Indian style. Blair held the telephone receiver as Jackie handed her the number to Grooves Record Store. Georgina and Serena stared on, each girl holding her breath in anticipation. They knew it was risky, but Jackie had assured them all that Hyde would not be at work and that, despite what they knew, Randy really wasn't that bright.

"Grooves Record Store, Randy speaking."

"Randy, this is Audrey with Point Place First National Bank, is Mr. Hyde in?"

"No, he doesn't come in until later. Can I take a message?"

"That...would be great."

TBC.

A/N Next chapter is dinner with the Forman's and the gang. You know Kitty's a natural at throwing awkward dinner parties.


	3. The Devil's Revenge

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I promise I'm trying to get better/faster at it. If anyone wanted know, Blair's outfit is taken directly from the GG season 2 episode The Grandfather.

Disclaimer - Don't own anything so please don't sue. It would be a waste of time to sue me anyway, as I'm poor and my bank account is guaranteed to disappoint you.

_6:00pm Friday, May 23, 1980. _Jackie and the girls were sitting in her new car outside the Forman household. Before the ink could dry on the paperwork from her newly accessed trust account, Jackie had paid in full and delivered to her a mint condition black, 1970 convertible Dodge Challenger with tinted windows and chrome rims. Sure, Donna might have been lusting after Sam's brand new Trans Am and as much as Jackie hated the slut she had to admit, it was a cool car. But, as a girl who liked and _knew _her cars, she knew no one could deny the beauty and pure American muscle that was this particular car. What made her proudest however, was not the four male faces pressed against the living room windows of the Foreman abode ogling her car, but, as her cousins and Serena had advised her, she'd picked this car to make herself happy. It had been a long time since she had done something for herself without someone reminding her of how selfish or shallow it was and god, it felt good.

Coming down from the euphoria of owning her own car again, however, Jackie felt the slight shake of her nervous hands as she checked her hair and make up for about the fifth time. Blair had assured her that looking hot was as equally important as carrying out their assigned tasks. It wasn't that Jackie had been walking around looking ugly, because let's face it; it would take some serious effort on Jackie's part to ever be unattractive. It's just that she hadn't really tried to look pretty either. Lately she had been as close as Jacquelyn Beulah Burkhart would ever be to average. So, per Blair's demands, the top on her convertible had been kept up in an effort to "maintain the integrity" of their grand entrance. After a final once-over Jackie looked to Blair in the passenger seat and Georgina and Serena in the back.

"Ready girls!" she shouted in that voice she had long ago reserved for high school cheerleading practice. "Let's go!" she clapped her hands together and at once two long doors opened and four pairs of the sexiest legs ever to grace Point Place stretched out.

* * *

In retelling this story years later, the guys would all agree that the wind blew extra hard and the sun shone extra bright as the girls exited the car that day. When they saw those beautifully toned legs reach out they didn't know who was in this car, but they knew they felt dirty watching. It was more arousing than any episode of Charlie's Angels.

Blair stepped out first, wearing a navy and white tube dress that was just long enough that it wouldn't be considered indecent but short enough that, for once, Fez wasn't the only one with "needs." The curve hugging dress was paired with a champagne colored cardigan and Blair's lips were best described by Fez as he turned to the gang and said, "Aiii, her lips look like liquid candy apples!"

Blair turned to help out Serena, who was wearing a yellow halter dress that stopped just above her knees but with Serena's legs it looked significantly shorter. The sunlight reflected from her honey blonde locks creating a golden aura around her. There was a new blonde Amazon in Point Place and this one was nobody's lumberjack.

Third to exit was Georgina, who, not being a dress wearing kind of girl, opted for a dark blue pair of skinny jeans and a black peasant top. While the jeans definitely hugged her in all the right places, it wasn't so much what she was wearing but the way she carried herself that had them intrigued. This girl had an element of danger; an edginess to her that they could all appreciate.

"Damn!" Kelso exclaimed "I haven't seen girls this hot in Point Place since….since…" he wrinkled his brow as he struggled to think. "Well…nobody 'cept me and Jackie's that hot! Well…" thinking again "Jackie before me and Hyde messed her up!" Kelso nodded his head while a goofy grin took over his face and Hyde frogged him. "Oww!"

Hyde was anticipating the final occupant to exit the car while Eric's mouth hung open at the sight of the gorgeous blonde who was now straightening out the non-existent wrinkles in her dress and laughing.

* * *

Georgina looked inside the car as Jackie prepared her nerves for her own strategic exit.

"Is the twitchy one with the brown hair Eric?"

"Yeah…why?" Jackie asked, patting her hair to ensure no strand had strayed from its place.

"I think Serena just gave him an aneurysm." All the girls laughed as Serena straightened the front of her dress and Jackie finally stepped from the car.

* * *

If it weren't for Kelso's second extremely loud "Damn!" in his ear, Hyde was sure he would have fainted at the sight of Jackie in a white Grecian style dress that stopped right above her knees and with a neckline that plunged all the way to her sternum. The waist of the dress was cinched with white and silver flowers and the dress' left shoulder was tied in a bow. Jackie's hair was in an updo just the way he liked it, with a large white flower adorning the right side. The backdrop Point Place provided was just plain wrong. With her dark hair, blue/green eyes, and glowing tan, she belonged on a post card for one of the tropical islands her mother often frequented. She was absolutely breathtaking.

* * *

The whole time the girls had been making their coordinated exit from the car, Donna and Sam had been in the kitchen with Kitty. Red had escaped Kitty's menopausal mood swings, pretending he needed to work on the Toyota. As the girls made their way up the front porch steps and Kitty heard the commotion inside she rushed to the front door to let them in with Donna and Sam close behind. At the sight of Jackie, Sam latched onto Hyde, rubbing his arm and kissing his neck as he struggled to pry her body away.

Donna could feel her blood boiling at the look on Eric's face as he stared at the statuesque blonde. Sure, she and Eric hadn't defined their relationship or if they even still had one, but she was single and he was single and he was back and she had thought that kiss on New Year's and all the time they'd been spending together since then meant something to him. It meant something to her.

"Oh if you aren't just the prettiest little things!" Kitty chirped as she escorted the girls inside. "Just make yourselves at home, we have cheese, crackers, and other appetizers right here" she motioned toward the living room table.

"Great, more dumbasses to feed." Red grumbled as he finally made his way inside to claim his favorite chair before Kettlehead or Poncho seated their asses in it.

"Well…everybody just…get to know each other!" Kitty clapped her hands together walking back toward the kitchen as the ten young adults stood around awkwardly and Red smiled as he sensed the trouble already brewing. "Get to know each other I said!" Kitty yelled and everybody jumped into action.

* * *

Blair made her way across the room to her intended target, the shaggy haired man in the Point Place police uniform. It was both amusing and depressing to Blair, how well Jackie knew her friends but how little they actually knew about her. Jackie had ensured Blair that if he knew girls were likely to be there, Kelso would wear his cop uniform. Because "chicks like a guy in uniform" and he was "at his man-prettiest" when donning his Point Place police attire.

"Hi, I'm Blair Waldorf. Jackie's cousin" Blair drawled as she pressed her body close to Kelso and rubbed her hands up and down his biceps.

"I'm Michael Kelso. Jackie's ex boyfriend!" Kelso responded proudly and Blair physically struggled to prevent rolling her eyes.

"I just love a man in uniform," Blair said as her hand roamed to Kelso's side and landed on the object she was looking for. "It's a shame you dated my cousin first" she added with a pout.

"Yeah but she won't mind if we do it" he responded authoritatively and Blair's hand made quick work of removing the target item and slipping it into her purse.

"When we were dating I did it with a lot of her friends…." Blair made a mental note to have a talk with Jackie about her taste in men as she replaced the item with the replica Georgina had altered "I mean a lot…a lot…a lot...A LOT"

"I get it!" Blair cut in testily. _How clueless could you be? Seriously, next to this guy Nate is Albert fucking Einstein._

"So, you wanna do it?" Kelso asked while leering at her.

"Why don't you introduce me to some of your friends? Who's that guy?" Blair asked while pointing to Fez who was busy eating his third brownie and glaring at Kelso for stealing the girl with the candy apple lips. Blair tugged Kelso in Fez's direction near the bar.

"Hi, I'm Blair Waldorf" she said while removing her arm from Kelso's and rubbing against Fez. "I'm Jackie's cousin. What's your name?" she asked Fez in a sultry voice.

"I am Fez, my lovely" Fez replied, turning toward Blair.

As Jackie had promised, Kelso's outrage from Blair's obvious preference for the foreigner took over "Uh! He dated Jackie too!" he jumped and pointed at Fez like a small child.

"But only for a few days, you bastard!" Fez yelled, sensing that Kelso was trying to sabotage his chances.

"Yeah but…" Blair tuned them out as she thought how easy it had been to distract them. _God, if only Upper East Siders were this simple. _Blair looked around to see if everyone else's job was going as successfully and to keep an eye out for their surprise visitor, being sure to periodically stoke the flames of the Kelso/Fez "who Blair should do it with" debate.

* * *

While Blair busied herself with Point Place's own Laurel and Hardy, Georgina struck up conversation with Donna who looked simultaneously on the verge of tears and an act of domestic violence.

"Hi, I'm Georgina, Jackie and Blair are my cousins." She reached her hand out to Donna who, was more interested in the animated conversation between Eric and Serena occurring on the couch behind them.

"Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Donna, Jackie's best friend," she answered distractedly while continuing to watch the pretty blonde whose hand was now placed on Eric's knee. Georgina burst into laughter and Donna's attention was refocused.

"Excuse me?" Donna asked, confused by the girl's reaction but finding her eyes yet again pulled away as Eric whispered something in the blonde's ear, causing her to giggle.

"Oh, ahem…. sorry. I thought you said you were Jackie's best friend. Go on." Georgina motioned for Donna to continue, although her words had come out with the slightest hint of condescension and, despite the obvious distraction in the background, Donna didn't miss it.

"I did. I'm Donna, Jackie's best friend." Again, laughter.

"Do you have a problem?" Donna asked, now at the peak of irritation.

"No, no, I'm sooo sorry, it's just…I don't think you're the same person, but…" Georgina leaned in as if to whisper a deep secret to Donna "I heard somewhere that Jackie's best friend in Point Place was a massive back stabbing bitch." Georgina said, laughing all the while.

"Excuse me!" Donna shrieked, shocked at the accusation.

"Oh I'm sorry, am I wrong? Because I was under the impression that your _real _best friend was the bottle blonde whore here." Georgina said loudly while gesturing to Sam who was standing next to them, still latched onto Hyde.

Hyde smirked. While he knew HIS reasons for keeping Sam around, it always upset him to see how quickly all their friends had abandoned Jackie. Sam launched herself into Georgina's face.

"I am NOT a bottle blonde!"

* * *

His blonde barnacle finally removed, Hyde made his way to the bar where, conveniently, Jackie was fixing herself a drink.

"Do you think we could talk…in private?" Jackie asked him as soon as he was near. While Jackie had been confident of everyone else's reactions, she found herself completely unprepared for how Hyde would respond. She knew he didn't love Sam, and after her hash induced contemplations, she was fairly positive she knew what he was trying to do by keeping Sam around. But, that didn't mean he would be cooperative.

"We don't have anything to talk in private about" Hyde said, struggling to keep his Zen when all he really wanted to do was grab Jackie and kiss her…hard.

"Yes, we do. I haven't given up Steven. I just…" Jackie took a deep breath and reached out across the bar to caress his hand. It was a bold move. "took some time to regroup."

Hyde was intrigued. "Fine." He answered and Jackie grabbed his hand, leading him to Laurie's room.

* * *

Meanwhile, Blair noticed Randy pull up outside and leaving behind Kelso and Fez, who seemed perfectly content arguing with one another, she jumped into action for the next stage of their plan. Walking up to Georgina, Donna, and Sam who were still arguing heatedly she spoke cheerfully…

"Hey ladies, I'm Blair, Jackie's cousin" Georgina recognized her cue.

"Hi," Donna grumbled, not really interested in meeting another of Jackie's relatives.

"Where's Jackie?" Georgina asked.

"Oh, I think she went to the basement with that Hyde guy" Blair responded nonchalantly while studying her nails.

"Oh god" Donna groaned.

"We'll see about that!" Sam said as she turned and stormed down the stairs.

Donna and Georgina continued to exchange glares "Georgie, why don't you get a little fresh air" Blair said, spinning Georgina around to face the front door.

"Donna? Is it?" Blair asked as Georgina walked off.

Donna just looked at Blair, unsure whether to trust the new girl and still slightly pissed from the argument with her cousin. Not to mention her blonde friend was still groping Eric.

"Hey, let me apologize, I know Georgie can be a bit… abrasive sometimes. She takes some getting used to. So, tell me a little about yourself" Blair offered as she headed for the staircase to sit and talk. Donna reluctantly followed.

* * *

Georgina was now outside on the porch as Randy approached. "Hey handsome." she smiled coquettishly at him "you here for the dinner party?"

"No" he answered gruffly "I'm looking for Sam, do you know where she is?"

"Yeah, she's in the basement. You sure you don't want to stay and talk to me a little while though?" Georgina stood up, effectively blocking the front entrance "I mean, Sam's boring…" she said while rubbing up against Randy. "I could show you a good time" she smiled.

"No thank you." He replied while rushing around the side of the house to the basement entrance. Her goal accomplished, Georgina walked back inside.

* * *

Just as Georgina was entering, Kitty walked into the living room. It had been 30 minutes and her dinner party had fallen victim to an Upper East Side takeover.

"Dinner's ready! Everybody in the dining room!" Everyone made his or her way to the formal dining room and Georgina slipped upstairs to tell Jackie and Hyde to join them. Without knocking, she opened the door to find Jackie and Hyde on Laurie's bed, Hyde already on his way to third base.

"Jackie!" Georgina called out, upset but not surprised by her cousin's actions. This was definitely not a part of the plan, but Georgina knew all to well how easy it was to fall into old habits. Addictions were all the same. So, Georgina's voice softened…a little. "Dinner's ready" she said while eyeing Hyde.

* * *

As everyone made their way around the dinner table, Donna voiced a concern that apparently no one but she had. "Where's Sam?" she asked.

Before anyone could answer, Randy's voice was heard loudly, coming from Kelso's direction.

"**So, Jess, leaving for another convention tonight?" **Randy's voice said, obviously disgusted.

"Whoa! I think Randy's invisible you guys!" Kelso said looking around in amazement.

"It's coming from your police radio ya moron!" Hyde said pointing to Kelso's hip.

**Yes, I have to leave for a convention tonight, what's it to you? **Sam/Jess replied.

All eyes were now glued to Kelso's hip.

"Well, that's just odd. That sounded just like Sam" Kitty let out her nervous laugh and Hyde crossed over to Kelso, snatching the radio from his hip and turning up the volume. He placed the radio on the table.

**Save it Jess! I know you don't have a convention. I called!**

**Well, I don't know who you called, but Yes. I. Do! The manager of the Bellagio called me yesterday and told me!**

**I'm not your stupid little boy toy Jess! I know you cleaned out his bank account. You were gonna take off tonight with all the cash weren't you? **Randy was practically yelling at this point.

"**Would you shut the hell up! They're gonna hear us! You're acting crazy" **Sam/Jess yelled, obviously trying to reign in his anger.

"**No, I'm not crazy honey, you're crazy!" **Randy responded furiously** "You thought you'd double cross me! I came here to this puke hole! I found the mark! And you were gonna take off with the money! I've watched that idiot" **Randy spat out the last word **"paw all over my wife for months Jessica! Months! And you were just gonna run off with the money and leave me here?" **at this last part he sounded genuinely hurt.

"**Ben! Shut! Up!" **Sam/Jess sounded as if she were on the verge of exploding. **"You don't know what you're talking about!"**

"**Save it Jessica" **he spat at her **"the bank called Grooves today to confirm for Hyde that the balance of his business account had been transferred to his wife's offshore account" **Randy/Ben took a deep audible breath **"and when I found out you had another 'convention' to attend" **Randy/Ben stated sarcastically** "I knew you were trying to double cross me"**

"BURN!" Kelso shouted "wait that is a burn right?"

"Shut up Kettlehead!" Red shouted as everyone struggled to hear what was coming from the radio.

"…**you know Jess. I really loved you. But, I don't think you're even capable of loving someone back. I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving." **

Footsteps were heard as Randy/Ben headed for the door and then jiggled the knob.

"**We're locked in here?"** Randy/Ben asked, but before Sam/Jess could respond….

"This is FBI Agent Joe Shaye. We have the house surrounded. All occupants come out with your hands up!" the officer was speaking into a bull horn as the FBI swat team parked their cars all over Red's lawn.

A/N - I know this chapter probably gave you more questions than answers, but I promise things will be clarified shortly. I really hope you enjoy the chapter! Hopefully there weren't too many mistakes. I uploaded this chapter once, but after I made all my changes FF logged me out and none of them were saved so I had to do it all over again and well, I was lazier the second time around (so shoot me). Anyway, please review!


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